Mr. Turton told me he wanted a challenge. So we gave him one. He wanted to become the king of the court, so we got Johnny Watson, Quinn Grover, Timmy Boucher, and Dylan Zielinski to play him in P.I.G.

In this game, when someone makes a shot, you have to shoot the exact same shot. And whoever misses that shot gets a letter. When someone misses, the next person attempts a shot. If you spell “PIG,” you’re out.

Mr. Turton certainly brought his A game, but fell short of accomplishing his biggest athletic feat since he was cut from the basketball team in his freshman year of high school. He may have been the star soccer player in 1991, but unfortunately for him, he may never get another shot at his lifelong goal, becoming the king of the basketball court.