Investigators have spent the past several weeks looking into the disappearance of several mannequins that were used during the Physical Education Department’s CPR Unit. Until a recent breakthrough, the school wide investigation was kept a secret, so not to disturb usual school activity. However, top school and law enforcement officials have announced that they have found the perpetrator.

An anonymous tipster alerted authorities that the mannequins in question were taken by none other than Mr. Ed Carll, a Phys. Ed. teacher and coach at Alden High School. Investigators first checked Carll’s office, but were unable to gather any incriminating evidence. On a hunch, they checked his car in the school parking lot. Upon first glance in his rusty, white 1997 Pontiac Grand Prix, they hit the jackpot.  An investigation into the trunk of the car revealed several tea pots, cups, and saucers, along with several small chairs, a table, decorative napkins and small gourmet cupcakes.

 “You got something against tea parties? It’s really hard to make friends and these mannequins don’t pass the same sort of judgment of me that others do.” Blurted an emotional Carll.  “My plans for the weekend are now shot. This is a victimless crime!”

The American Red Cross was not available for comment but early reports indicate that they are relieved that this issue can finally be put to rest.

APRIL FOOLS!